We’ve had a combination of appointments with the doctor, visits to the psychiatrist, compromising over the subjects that Gteen chooses to study each day, (and giving different coloured stars depending on the effort put in, then rewarding with a treat, like his current favourite snack – beef jerky), kicking a football around with him outside, (and calling it PE), cooking with him, (Food Tech), receiving and making phone calls to his school, the council exclusion officer, my work colleagues, researching (during the late evenings), on the internet: his school and government education policy, educational psychologists, alternative education & home education, understanding teenage behaviour, and looking for support for parents of excluded teenagers.
I have read articles online from The Independent and Guardian expressing concern about failures within the state schooling system that lead to exclusions and I have read research done by various organisations with suggested solutions too. My head is buzzing with all this stimuli.
I know I am not alone in feeling thwarted and failed by state education and I don’t blame individual teachers. They all have to work extremely hard to cope with the demands of, on average 30 different kids each hour of the school day and must feel equally frustrated that in general, they cannot focus on the needs of individuals, but can only plough through what is expected of them so that they can meet the targets required.
Gteen and I have been dropping off and picking up Ggirlie together, (also PE), then I (or Gteen), have been helping her with her homework. I’ve been actively involved in activities with her and her friends too, (which included having my face painted by her and a friend and making cakes with her and another friend), and of course doing all the usual domestic stuff like cooking healthy dinners, hoovering and doing the laundry, with Gteens’ help too.
We are getting along a lot better as time passes and he is becoming more co-operative, just as I am dealing better with his outbursts of frustration and anger. He is certainly benefiting from having this kind of time with me though I wonder how he will adjust to reintegration into another school.
His freedom is much restricted in that he is not allowed out on his own like before and most of his gadgets have been taken away for the time being. No Xbox or MP3 player, and the spare TV is locked away too. He has earnt his mobile phone back and can have limited use of his Xbox, (which needs the spare TV), during the holidays.
He is still attending Air Cadets but we drop and collect from the door. He can see friends here and indeed have them over for sleepovers during the weekend but visits to see friends will involve us for the transport and be closely monitored too ensure that he is actually there and not out roaming around. Despite all these consequences he is responding really well.
We now have an appointment with an educational psychologist, who is coming to our house in the first week of January. It’ll cost about £700 for a detailed report but will be money well spent in assessing his educational needs. I have been in touch with a behavioural educational psychologist too but she is fully booked until half term in February.
Gteens’ school want to arrange a managed move instead of a permanent exclusion but because we live in one borough and his school is on the nearest border of another borough, the school that has been suggested is just too far away from home so, much to the head teachers annoyance I could only turn it down on the grounds of distance. Anyway it seems to me that they are just not addressing his needs, and his cry for help by his action that started this ball rolling.
Now we have Christmas approaching and I shall finish here with these photos, which we took for this years Christmas card. Gteen made the card on the computer for us as an IT project.
We wish all that pop by a fantastic Christmas with lots of laughter, joy and happiness.
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